Do Not Disturb

Mar 13

I haven’t shared my End Point this week from my session with Craig until now because quite frankly it still feels spun in my head a little. What I came to was “I need to learn to be more selfish” Even typing it feels icky.

One of the things I like to do when I feel icky about a word is look it up. We can have emotional charge on a word. And, selfish is one for me. Inward looking- that’s a YES for me. I love looking inward. And self~loving. That doesn’t seem selfish, but necessary. The opposite of selfish feels more like me.

I’m changing my End Point. Right here, right now. I need to be more self-focused. That is my end point.

Ok. Moving on. What does self-focused mean for me? Let’s start with this.

I won’t miss my nap for others. I need naps. I need to focus on what my body requires at this time. (And always!)

As a self admitted recovering co-dependant, people pleaser extraordinaire I was entirely conditioned to give to others before giving to myself. Selflessly. I catch myself in this pattern over and over. And over and over and over again. It’s like my ultimate life lesson that I keep relearning and never fully GET. Just when my Ego thinks “oh I’ve finally got it” the lesson shows up again.

Do I want to be considerate? Generous? Absolutely, AND not at the expense of me. Also, my old social media posts happen to be helpful bits of my own advice. 🤪