Oncology: From Overwhelm to Organization
Sometimes 24 hours flies by and other times it is like a turtle with broken legs. So much has happened in the last 24 hours, it’s hard to believe it’s only been 24 hours. When we experience trauma it is common to experience a distortion of time. I’m so thankful Traumatic Incident Reduction is such a part of my world that confronting this journey has been going pretty good for me.
Tuesday I had my session with Craig in the morning. I felt super empowered at the end, like I knew exactly how I would show up at the oncology appointment. I had my comments and concerns organized like a champ and I was ready. That afternoon Kalvin stayed with Heather and Anne and Mikey and I went to my first oncology appointment which was 1.5 hours long and I really had to pee. The information coming at me was a lot. It was overwhelming. Thus, my lack of blogging. My head was spinning and I definitely recognized I needed some time. So, I ignored the blog, got in my jammies and ate some dinner. Kalvin, Kylee and I snuggled and I began the descend into the mountain of paperwork I was handed. I’ve sorted that now and it’s in a very organized, borderline passionately obsessed person way for my binder. Kalvin volunteered to do the hole punching with his teeth but I think I’ll take that on myself. He’s way less passionately obsessed with certain things than I am. I have a feeling referring back to at least some of that data might be needed if not for me for someone. My friend, Tom helped me out with some of my own words to chew on as the overwhelm ebbed and flowed. And, now I’m way less sideways. Except my hair. It’s here for another few days and it’s still sideways.
Here’s the Cole’s notes:
The rest of the pathology determined triple negative, stage 3B Grade 3 (this means the highest level of invasiveness)
The regime is: 24 weeks of chemo, once a week for 12 weeks then every second week for 12 weeks followed by surgery then radiation
I had genetic testing today and blood work for my first chemo treatment which is next Thursday
A port will be put in on Friday Feb 9th
More blood work and tests next week prior to chemo
The looks on our faces = dead giveaway.
The port was causing the most stress for me. It definitely felt like an unwanted invasion. I spoke my truth and asked for as much information as they had. Dr.Hamm and the nurse Debbie were very kind and understanding. In the end, I decided I can do it. I can do lots of hard things. I am still quite anxious over the port but, I know it’s a decision best for me right now and so I’m feeling my way through that. Suzanne helped a lot by letting me see her port and telling me all about the experience. I go in Friday for the port and with each day the fear is subsiding and I feel more peace.
