The Oncology Floor

Well I wanted to go home. I mean who wouldn’t? I’ve been walking around. Apparently that’s not something they usually see in the ICU. I also have been showering myself and feeling decent. I mean as decent as one could who has just been through a severe beat down that threatened her existence. But, the news came from Dr Kyle that I’m not free yet. Heather came at ten when visiting hours started to spring me free to find out we were moving. Tyler, the Professional Transportation Expert brought us up to the Oncology unit. He told me he’s only a porter. No Tyler. You’re a very important and valuable man. He not only pushed me but he made sure I had all of my fridge snacks that Mikey got me last night. The night prior I was starving and my kids drove in to get me a firehouse sub. My crew loves me so much. I’m really lucky.

I was emotional getting into this private room, seeing the Transition to Betterness sign and thinking about all the people who just didn’t get better from cancer.

My nurse Lorie is awesome sauce. She and Abi took out the drain that was draining the lymph node site and the pic line. I was floored at how long the tube is that went behind my heart. She’s holding it so you guys can see too. At one point I had this pic line with two ports of access and 3 different IVs in my left arm. They also can only use my left arm for everything so blood pressure was happening there too and every 20 min for days. We moved that permanently to my leg after my hand looked like someone blew up some rubber gloves and my arm looked bigger than my calf. My friend Margaret was there to help rub it and see the Amie balloon. Now, I’m just a bruised mess. But, I’m here. So, I’ll take it. The reason we can’t use the right arm anymore … as in for the remainder of the 50 some odd years I hope to be living my best earth life…. Is because of the lymph nodes removal.

He cried his heart out when he saw me coming. It was my first day outside since the couple moments of sun I had with my EMS ride on Thursday. Only this time I walked. Albeit slow, I walked, it was so great to see my boys!

This was the first time I saw Kyran since he came singing down the hall at near midnight Saturday with my firehouse sub to be the first one to wish me a good morning. It was so great to snuggle in to his warm, gentle hug 🩵

This picture was actually Sunday when we were still in the ICU. Well, I had to be there but Mikey chose to. He gives and gives and gives to me and makes sure I have everything I need each day. He asked to spoon in my twin bed 🩵

I learned a lot on day one on the oncology floor. I learned I’m impatient and I forget far too frequently to trust the plan instead of trying to get my way. Nurse Lorie has put my mind at ease about the chemo Pills that were used before immunotherapy. She taught me about timelines for radiation. Things that I just didn’t understand before and although I kept trying to get the answers to help me learn and integrate the data, it just wasn’t happening. Nurse Lorie, and nurse Heidi in the ICU, a former oncology nurse have gifted me the data I needed. That’s why I didn’t get my way and go home. So I could learn. So I could receive the gift.

There was a code blue when I was FaceTiming Renee and Ashley and I had to close my door. I know what can happen here. The cycle of life. I send that family love because friends, cancer is hard on families too. Cancer is hard on friends too. You guys worry about us. Try not to worry about me. I just ate a half a watermelon and the moment I got to my mini fridge to get it my phone went off. It’s near 4 am. One of my TIR family, Alexia was my light at 4 am. As she thanked me for helping her be where she is today I could feel her love in the exchange and I hope she could feel mine back. My TIR family and I have some big things to do! Well, my 4 am snack, texts with Alexia, blog completion from day one and vitals check with nurse Mackenzie are done and so my meditation music is going back on and I’m going to sleep some more. May you find the gifts that come your way, always! See you real soon! Shine bright xox Amie