We Need to Feel Safe to Heal

Just as my 3 day week was coming to its end, something strange happened. I had met a friend at Lakeside for a visit. I managed in a bowl of soup and a couple hours later my face started getting itchy. I had one more client to do and follow up night after and as I looked in the mirror I could see my swollen face, red, blotchy and with little white bumps. My Skin looked patchy and my neck and ears were so itchy. I couldn’t stop itching and I was making it worse. At this point, I hadn’t connected the soup. To this moment, I have no idea if it actually was the soup or some freakish symptom. That symptom list is getting long, seemingly multiplying with each passing day. It’s ok, I have TIR. My take on symptoms might seem a little strange, or outside the lines from how you might view symptoms. And that’s okay. We all have our own thoughts, opinions and experiences and we create our world. We all see things from our own lens based on our data collected, which is really cool. I mean, if we were all the same how boring would this world be? My take on this experience for me is that breast cancer is a symptom of some unresolved trauma that is stored in my body. Something that I am holding onto and is not fully addressed. I’m not alone in this, many trauma teachers would agree. I think back to my early days in TIR where I kept getting this intense knee pain in my sessions. I had every excuse under the sun for the pain. I did too many squats, I hit a bump on the sidewalk and felt a pull the day prior, I slept on the wrong side, I was in the kitchen too long, I walked on gravel without my trail shoes…. until I one day realized these excuses were my coping mechanism and the knee pain was a symptom with the root of the knee pain being stored fear from a childhood incident. In this incident, I fell on a concrete step corner and had some trauma to my knee. It was really scary. Then all those years later, right on the scar where my stitches were done, I would grab and hold onto my throbbing knee. Until this breast cancer dealio began this was my one and only scar. Unless I count the high school eyebrow piercing grown over hole that only I can see. The moment in session when I realized the root of this knee pain it was gone. I’ve never had it again. Not once. Not when I do too many squats, or hit a sidewalk crack, not when I walk on gravel, not when I’m baking in the kitchen too long, not ever.

A very special little girl created this in her session one day with me and said it’s okay for me to share it with you. TIR for kids is so cool. This little girl is just so precious. I love her drawing, and her gentle heart. Thank you for letting me share with our friends here sweetheart! 💜💗🩵❤️💛💚💜💗🩵❤️💚💛💜💗

If we do not address trauma and other difficult situations affecting children while they are young, then these adverse experiences will continue to affect them as adults.  Toxic stress and trauma can alter a child’s brain chemistry.  Working with kids can change their lives forever. 

Resolving trauma in the young can help to positively change a generation, and even reduce the impact of trauma on future generations. How great is that?

If you are a parent, let me teach you. If you are a parent of a teen I just thought of something really cool that I thought about before and haven’t done yet! A parent and teen training. Pay for only you, and bring your teen to learn alongside you at no charge. A gift from me for the next generation. Imagine being a teen and your best friend and you actually knowing how to help each other when you’re sitting on your bed or phone talking to each other for hours about what’s happening in your world. Now, that’s cool beans. Talk to your teen, your teens best friends parent and their teen and if you have interest we will find some dates. And, maybe a fun time to meet other parents and teens too! It’s FUN, I can feel it! (Also, I could probably teach kids quite young … the vocabulary in the manuals is more advanced but I know how to navigate that. If you think your child might be interested, let’s talk about it!)

I’ve gone off again, I was telling you a story and now I’m geeked about a training: Yup, I’m still human.

I’m now thinking about the other really cool personal experience with somatic (body) stuff that I blogged about a few years back. At that point I was dealing with concussion symptoms and something amazing happened in those sessions. I found the root incident. September 10, 1976 - the day I was born by FORCEpts. My little body remembered the pressure. That also went away that day and NEVER returned.

This topic is my ham. Haha autocorrect, I’m leaving it ‘cause that’s funny to me. I don’t eat ham, but it’s my jam and so is hamming around. And laughing at life. But, now I’m thinking about ham. No, JAM! Omg! I’m laughing but I don’t want to pee my pants, because chemo pee is toxic and I don’t feel like doing all that separate laundry, today or ever. I think I’ll take a break for toast with JAM! 🥪 I think we all need a break-fast! My jokes are turning corny. 🌽

I opted for Greek yogurt,melted peanut butter, raspberry jam, bran, coconut, and some pecans with these giant raspberries Mikey got me. I’m a bit concerned those berries are on steroids but WTF, so am I unfortunately, On a scale of 1-10, ten being the most unhappy about being on steroids, I’m a 10,000. Even though I’m not happy, a combination of the steroid, and Benadryl (also a 10,000 unhappiness rating for me) the reaction seemed to have cleared and my skin went back to looking “normal”

The thing is, the medication, aka: the unhappiness increasers are masking the symptom. The rash came back as of 4:30 Friday morning. I didn’t buy the reactine like I was told to, because I thought I had some, and quite frankly I don’t like being told to do things. Nor do I like 10,000 x unhappiness purchases. Okay. Amie. They get the memo. Medications cause you 10,000 ratings of unhappiness.

Heather and I did stop at the pharmacy. Actually 2 of them. 20,000 rating of unhappiness. So, get this. Every. Single.Mouthwash moisturizer, mouth rinse, moisture toothpaste at the cancer clinic pharmacy has artificial sweetener. On top of that, all 5 varieties of the brand of nasal spray they recommend have artificial sweetener. By the way my neck is getting hotter by the minute as I’m writing. My body is keeping score of something and showing me its unhappiness rating. You guys are really good at holding space for me. Thank you!

It’s no wonder medications scare the living begeebus out of me. They literally put that 💩 in everything. And, I have a severe allergy. I’m going to ask Craig to facilitate me as I look at this more. This cancer thing reminds me a lot of the artificial sweetener poisoning of 2012. There are absolutely more than 2 present stimuli in both of these incidents or periods of time and did you guys know it only takes 2 stimuli or similarities to connect incidents? I’m right on it; the unhappiness and pain. I’m accomplishing a lot in this blog post. And, it might not make any sense to you. But, thank you for being here. For encouraging me to continue to write here. For hearing me, and coming back for more. For being interested. Because, when someone really listens we feel safe, and can confront our pain, we eliminate symptoms. We heal traumas. Our bodies thank us. Kalvin has spooned right up against my body so I’m going to snuggle back in and talk to my body. It’s 25,000 times happy right now. I had my first “end point” on a blog. Thanks for being here. Your love fills my heart with gratitude!

Here are some posts I’ve shared over the years. I had hair, but the message I am sharing hasn’t changed.